• Marking all A’s on report cards would make your life so much simpler.
• When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.
• You believe “extremely annoying” should have its own box on the report card.
• You can’t have children because there’s no name you could give a child that wouldn’t bring on high bood pressure the moment you heard it uttered.
• You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling.
• You encourage your spouse by telling them they are a “good helper”.
• You know one hundred good reasons for being late.
• You refer to adults as “boys and girls”.
• You’ve ever had your profession slammed by someone who would never dream of doing your job.
• You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.
• You get a secret thrill out of laminating something.
• You walk into a store and hear the words “It’s Ms/Mr. _________” and know you have been spotted.
• You have 25 people that accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another.
• You can eat a multi-course meal in under twenty-five minutes.
• You’ve trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day: lunch and prep period.
• You start saving other people’s trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.
• You believe the teachers’ lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.
• You want to slap the next person who says “Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off.”
• You believe chocolate is a food group.
• You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.
• You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says “Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.”
• You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.
• You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.
• You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
• You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
• You can’t pass the school supply aisle without getting at least five items!
• You ask your friends if the left hand turn he just made was a “good choice or a bad choice.”
• You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils.
• You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer.
• You understand instantaneously why a child behaves a certain way after meeting his or her parents.