{"id":237,"date":"2024-02-29T11:09:34","date_gmt":"2024-02-29T17:09:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aportman.com\/?page_id=237"},"modified":"2024-02-29T11:09:34","modified_gmt":"2024-02-29T17:09:34","slug":"you-know-you-are-a-teacher-if","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/aportman.com\/index.php\/home\/joke-page\/you-know-you-are-a-teacher-if\/","title":{"rendered":"You Know You Are a Teacher If&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Marking all A&#8217;s on report cards would make your life so much simpler.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You believe &#8220;extremely annoying&#8221; should have its own box on the report card.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You can&#8217;t have children because there&#8217;s no name you could give a child that wouldn&#8217;t bring on high bood pressure the moment you heard it uttered.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You encourage your spouse by telling them they are a &#8220;good helper&#8221;.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You know one hundred good reasons for being late.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You refer to adults as &#8220;boys and girls&#8221;.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You&#8217;ve ever had your profession slammed by someone who would never dream of doing your job.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You get a secret thrill out of laminating something.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You walk into a store and hear the words &#8220;It&#8217;s Ms\/Mr. _________&#8221; and know you have been spotted.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You have 25 people that accidentally call you Mom\/Dad at one time or another.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You can eat a multi-course meal in under twenty-five minutes.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You&#8217;ve trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day: lunch and prep period.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You start saving other people&#8217;s trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You believe the teachers&#8217; lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You want to slap the next person who says &#8220;Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off.&#8221;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You believe chocolate is a food group.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You can tell if it&#8217;s a full moon without ever looking outside.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says &#8220;Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.&#8221;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You can&#8217;t pass the school supply aisle without getting at least five items!<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You ask your friends if the left hand turn he just made was a &#8220;good choice or a bad choice.&#8221;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You understand instantaneously why a child behaves a certain way after meeting his or her parents.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":44,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-237","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aportman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/237","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aportman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aportman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aportman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aportman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=237"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/aportman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/237\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":238,"href":"https:\/\/aportman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/237\/revisions\/238"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aportman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/44"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aportman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=237"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}